Live- in Relationship
Cohabitation (also called Live In relationship) is an arrangement whereby two people decide to live together on a longterm or permanent basis in an emotionally and/or sexually intimate relationship. Here an unmarried couple lives together in a long-term relationship that resembles a marriage. Today this concept is hotly debated in India.
The virtues and vices of this arrangement are naturally contested vis-a-vis marriage. Marriage is generally defined as a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways.The different facets of marriage include legal, social, emotional, economical, spiritual, and religious. The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. It is usually recognized by the State, a religious authority, or both.
Yet despite its wider ambit, there are many people who come forth as votaries of cohabitation in preference to marriage. I present here a few facts on the basis of which I find myself being an ardent supporter of marriage as an institution as opposed to Live-in relationship–
1. Life, all said and done, is a compromise. No one has complete control on things and situations around. This includes the choice to have a perfect and/or ideal mate. We would all like to have a person as our life-partner who is perfect in our eyes in all possible aspects. But is it actually possible? Isn’t it only a wishful thought? And are we ourselves perfect?
This means that if we want to live the best possible life, we need to go for suitable compromises at every step. This also includes marriage. So, if one finds a person suitable enough for oneself, one might as well go for a married relationship instead of opting for a Live-in relationship.
2. Marriage has as much an option of devolution as a Live-in relationship has. The only difference is that marriage being some kind of socio-legal contract, it naturally needs a formal procedure to be adopted before separation takes places. But at the same time, does it not also ensure many of the rights of the marriage partners as well.
Instead in a Live-in relationship, each of the partners is entitled only to that extent which they have agreed upon in black and white. And one can very well understand how impractical it is to assume that an unmarried couple would be going for all kinds of written agreements while they are in an intimate relationship. Neither would the two have that much skill and background to come up with legal agreements not would the situations make it easy for the two to go for such formalities.
Thus both the partners would find themselves devoid of any legal guarantees and rights once the relationships sour and the two are thinking of parting their ways. In such situations, both or at least one of them would invariably feel cheated in a big way over the entire episode
3. Today divorce is not a very complicated process (and if it is so, then we must get it simplified) and hence to get rid of relationships that are difficult to be carried forth one can always choose the method of divorce. Hence, Live-in relationship and marriage are very similar in nature except the robustness and socio-legal strength of a marriage vis-a-vis Live-in relations
4. No one knows how events will take shape in future. In all such situations, if one of the partners starts developing all kinds of problems and complications of physical and financial nature, then the institution of marriage gives at least some kind of security and even in the case of divorce, there is a proper compensation.
Instead, a Live-in relationship makes such a partner completely helpless and he/she is at the sheer mercy of the other partner, where the probability of such partner leaving the other in a lurch is always fairly high
5. The most affected persons are the children. In marriage, the children feel secure mentally and socially and even in divorce, they have some kind of social approval. The Live-in relationship has huge emotional price on these young children who find themselves very awkwardly placed
6. Same is the situation of other family members. They do not feel themselves having as much right and authority in a Live-in relation couple as they do in the midst of a married couple, who have a social sanction as well
Summing it up, it seems to me that Live-in relationship (or Cohabitation) is nothing but a baser and distorted version of marriage having all the drawbacks, burdens and problems of a married life but having none of its guarantee and security.
Dr Nutan Thakur,
Editor,
People’s Forum,
Lucknow
